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Good Jokes Based on Clever Use of Language

Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.

Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'

Several minutes later, Terry, looks so tired, arrives and comes back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'

The British at School (--09202241079)

One day, Mrs Arnold, a teacher at Green Barn Infant School, Norwich, England, was attempting to teach the names of animals to a class of 5-year-olds.

Firstly she held up a picture of a deer, and asked one boy, 'Sammy, what is this animal?'

Sammy looked at the picture with a disheartened look on his face and responded, 'I'm sorry Mrs Arnold, I don't know.'

Mrs Arnold was not one to give up easily, so she then asked Sammy, 'Well, Sammy, what does your Mummy call your Daddy?'

Sammy's face suddenly brightened up, but then a confused look spread slowly, and he asked, 'Mrs Arnold, is that really a pig?'

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